Jill Tells Her Side

MOTHERFUCKER! I told him! I told him not to go so fast. Ok your probably thinking what is this crazy bitch talking about. But after the three days I’ve had…you too would be a bitch ready to claw out any ones eyes if they cross you. Let me start at the beginning my name is Jill. My boyfriend Jack and I came to Cancun, Mexico for some relaxation and fun. But instead we got hell served with our chips and salsa. Three days ago we were lying on the beach baking under the sun just like I like it. Then Jack suggested we go for a ride on one of the Jet Skies that some Mexican’s were renting. He can’t sit five minutes with me without having some other form of entertainment. He claims that he likes to do activities with me. Activities my ass! I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little romantic quality time. But whatever this is beside the point. I didn’t argue with Jack, because after all I do love jet Skiing. So we walked over to this guy named Jesus. I think he was named after Jesus Christ. And he said “Twenty Five dollar…for ride…30 minute.” The gringos we are we paid his outrageous price to spear the confrontation of argument. We get one Jet Ski Jack is driving and I’m sitting behind him. Staring at his little neck hairs that really irate me. As I came out of my thought Jack screams over to this other couple on a Jet Ski. Until I realized it were some friends of ours Barbie and Ken. I love Ken he’s so funny he pulls the best jokes. He literally made me pee my pants once… with one of his jokes. But Barbie what a pretentious whore she gives females a bad name. Bad mouthing everyone and everything, but some how holds authority because her daddy owns his own company. As Jack and Ken finish up their conversation, I realized I spaced out for the entire thing. Jack just turns to me and says, “Ready Baby… this is going to be fun.” When I realized what had happen I was under water looking directly at a little fish that I swear resembled Nemo. Yes, my dumb ass boyfriend decided to race our friends. But we were the ones that ate shit, because Jack decided to speed up during going up a wave. Jack did a summersault over the handlebars and honestly I have no idea what happened to me. Except that it involved me hitting my arm against something cause it felt like it was ripping off from some creature pulling at it. I see Jack… he’s floating face up and all I can hear are these little moaning sounds coming from his direction. Next to the bubbles from where the Jet Ski used to be floating or should I say sinking. And Ken he’s an asshole. He and Barbie were made for each other. They left us. Oh no panic I see a repeat from the feature film Open Water made in 2003 about a couple that were accidentally left behind by their scuba diving group eaten by sharks. Not a happy ending. Please don’t let this be the sequel. We begin to float with the current taking us closer and closer to this cruise ship. I think I rather died from being chopped up to death from a propeller then from shark teeth. Until Jack and I see a boat getting closer to closer to us. Were saved no thanks to Jack, but instead by my new Mexican hero Juan Tamale a Mexican navy officer. I wish I would have realized at that moment I should have jumped back into the water and take my chances with the sharks. Instead, the Mexican Navy held me hostage for three days. I sleep in a cockroach-infested cell the size of a McDonald’s bathroom stall. I have never missed Jack so much in my life, but he was taken to his own cell with a few less roaches. Lucky bastard. So you see Mr. Cockroach I have no one else to talk too, but you here and all you relatives.

Where I'm From

I’m from a place where the wind cuts through you skin and the cold numbs the rest. Hibernation is more than six months only surfacing for food and bare necessities. I’m from the north side of town a ten-minute drive from the city. First you pass the football stadium then the History museum followed by the aquarium outlined by the white ice of Michigan Lake. Turing your head to the right you’ll see a completely different view. Your eyes wander toward the sky straining to see the tips of the towering buildings. Different smells roam the city. At one corner the smell of steam emerges from one of those hot dog stands. Leaving my mouth watering to fulfill the taste. It’s a place where people walk, talk, and eat. It’s lights shine bright at the end of the day. Only the mist can hide something so large.